The twelve days of crisis

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Isn’t it quite amazing how, with the right spin, even the grimmest of situations usually offer some entertainment value? The credit squeeze was no exception. Hat tip to David Fuller for pointing out this delightful poem by Tim Price of UK-based PFP Wealth Management.

On the first day of Crisis the markets sold to me
a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the second day of Crisis the markets sold to me
two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the third day of Crisis the markets sold to me
three French funds,
two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

And so on …

On the twelfth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
central banks succumbing,
over-hyped underwritings,
hedge fund Boards all leaving,
LBO refinancing,
eight salesmen bilking,
seven ‘bonds’ accruing,
six fleeced investors,
$500 gold calls,
foreclosure loans,
three French funds,
two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

Price continues: “… all of which does omit, of course, ‘hysterical overblown relief rallies by equities'; ‘a craven capitulation on the part of monetary authorities to Wall Street’s narrower interests'; ‘disconcerting weakness at the long end of bond markets'; ‘rising inflationary pressure'; ‘the dangerous vulnerability of retailers to deteriorating consumer spending'; ‘flimsy fiat currencies'; ‘a scary succession of non-American national property markets waiting to soften, including but not necessarily limited to Australia, Belgium, Britain, Denmark, France, Ireland, Italy, Spain and Sweden'; and ‘defensive investing becoming paramount’ – but then none of these coinages is particularly susceptible to rhyme.”

Source: Tim Price, Director of Investment, PFP Wealth Management

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