The Night They Drove Old Bear Down – An Annotated Tribute

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This is a very funny rewrite of an old song by The Band, capturing some of the “subtleties” of the Bear Stearns saga.

Jimmy Cayne is the name and I served on the Gravy train
’Til Dimon’s cavalry came and blew out Joe Lewis again
Hank Paulson was on the phone, we were just barely alive
March 16 was when Bear Stearns fell
It’s a time I remember oh so well.

The night they drove Old Bear down
The market bells were ringin’
The night they drove Old Bear down
Rich Lindsey was singin, he went
Phew now I’m glad they cashed me out
I’m all right, la-la-la-la.

Back with my my cards in Detroit
When Schwarz made a call to me
“Jimmy, quick, come see, there
goes Ken Griffin’s account!”
I don’t mind smokin’ dope
And I don’t care if Cioffi’s no good
But when Jim Simons moved the Renaissance cash
There went the last of my secret stash.

The night they drove Old Bear down
Prime brokerage was tanking
The Fed is good with a 30 bill put
For Jamie but not for me, they went
No Long-Term Capital for you
Hank did remember after all, la-la-la-la.

Like Dick Fuld after me
I worked an accounting fudge
And like
Lloyd Blankfein before him
I gave Level III a nudge.

It was just crap paper, piled high and brave
But the rumors
put Bear in its grave
I ask by the CDS around my feet
they bailed out Mozilo, how come I’m dead meat?

The night they drove Old Bear down
With counterparties a-sniggerin’
They said two bucks a share
And Bernanke was singin’, he went
Systemic risk’s not good for me
Helicopters so all can see, la-la-la-la.

The night they drove old Bear down
Because the rumors were flying
The night they drove old Bear down
Jim Cramer was lying, they went
Everybody else gets money for free
But none for me, la-la-la-la

Hat tip: Greg Newton, NakedShorts

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