You know you are old when you realize …
It is really hard to lose weight, because your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
Roman Numerals for the over forty (40) are “XL”.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
When you were a bit younger it was all about having enough to buy a house. Now it is all about having enough to keep a house.
You are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth – until you remember how you struggled with that terrible teacher.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car …
There’s nevertheless always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
You want people to know “why” you look this way – you’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Times have changed. Long ago when men beat the ground with sticks and cursed, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.
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