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The world according to Steven Wright
An e-mail with a number of the sayings of Steven Wright, Academy Award-winning American comedian, actor and writer, is doing the rounds at the moment. He sees things differently from most of us, to our amazement and amusement. • Here are some of Steven’s gems: • Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back. • Half the people you know are below average. • 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. • 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. • If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. • I almost had a psychic girlfriend, … but she left me before we met. • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. • When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. • Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. • Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. • Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film. Hat tip: James Korman | |||||||||||
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